African culture

REGRETS ARE INTERWOVEN with huge chunks of love, affection and disaffection, hatred and confusion: intertwined with heavy musical notes wrapped in despondency, in a chronic hatred of the present. I live in invisibility, worshipping my inward views of people, of actions, both mine and of others. I feel because of this loss, this pain that has cracked my heart into various angles that reek of regret and exhausted hope, I cannot love anymore.addis ababa escort I remember the different men I had turned down because I was waiting, looking for love, the kind I’d feel in every bone of my body, to the depth of my soul. I think and re-think my many thoughts: of how perfect this love was, of the first time we kissed. Because you were first to touch me, and I vowed to never let anyone else besides you come that close. Hot tears flood my eyes; pain strikes my insides when I think it is over. I try to listen to some music: Coldplay’s Fix You, In My Place and The Scientist, prostitutes in Addis Ababa Ethiopia  Maroon5’s Pay Phone, Boys II Men’s Pass You By, and ABBA’s The winner takes it all; without knowing all these songs have me as their inspiration and my broken love engraved in the lyrics. Now, food tastes like bile, people disgust me. I search for deception in every action, past and present, from everyone. My feeling of worthlessness heightens; erosion has overwhelmed the pool in my heart, this pool that housed my low self-esteem, my self-hatred and unhappiness. This gully depression stretches and consumes everything good and hopeful left in me. I’m filled with an irredeemable sense of loss. I’ve been stabbed, and when I stand naked in front of a mirror, I painfully watch the thick crimson slowly sweep itself down my ribs. I am a deep thinker, a discoverer of problems in every situation, a brothel prostituting fear, sadness and perfection. I am good-natured, quiet and patient; a sacrificial lamb. I can cross the Red Sea for you, transform myself bit by bit in the hope that I come to be your definition of perfection. I can swallow bouts of extraordinary pain, of all your misbehaviours. I am a firm believer in the 60 sanctity of love, of truth, of eternity. I ask for everything simple and plain, disregarding my complicated mind. I believe, strongly, in my thoughts: I am a deeper thinker of reality and deeds, of people and of me. Listen to Coldplay: When you try your best but  ethio escort you don’t succeed, When you get what you want but not what you need, When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep, Stuck in reverse/And the tears come streaming down your face, When you lose something you can’t replace, When you love someone but it goes to waste, Could it be worse…When you’re too in love to let it go, But if you never try you’ll never know just what you’re worth… I’m moving on, going to do other profound things with my heart and energy. When I feel too lonely, I’ll get a daughter artificially inseminated into me, and I’ll call her Noor, Light